It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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