Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
