Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
