Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
