So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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