A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
