if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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