I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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