is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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