Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
