Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he fucked my hip out of place.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
