You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
