youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
