I can tuck mytits in my pants
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
