I just cut my nipple shaving
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
