Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
wow bdsm is so cute
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