nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
