when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Randomize
