I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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