Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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