I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
