when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
