Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
