The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize