I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
