fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
