Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize