He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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