I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
