Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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