the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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