if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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