the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
