I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
