I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
