How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it glows. i had to have it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
