I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
