My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The uberlube is also flammable
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
