id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
