she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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