Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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