Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
