Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize