I hope mine doesn't look like that
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
