I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
where does the pee come out of this thing
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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