I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize