Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
