you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This toilet bowl is my home.
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