The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
