you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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