just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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