yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
