just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
