Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
