he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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