she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
