chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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