she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
