I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
