her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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