Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
