I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize