and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
